Today, in an announcement sure to set it on a path to misery and ruin, Netflix reveals the date for its upcoming series Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events – Friday, January 13, 2017.

“If you like watching stories in which children enjoy pleasant rides in truck beds, on their way to colorful destinations where they finally solve the curious mysteries plaguing their lives…That story is streaming elsewhere.” — Lemony Snicket